


in a dream where we'll be alright

by strawbbun



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Crying, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Getting Back Together, M/M, Minor Suicidal Thoughts, Smoking, The Author Regrets Nothing, juyeon just needs to be loved, the end is so soft, this is short but v emotional ;(
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-07
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2020-06-24 08:10:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19719676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawbbun/pseuds/strawbbun
Summary: "Stop pretending like life doesn't terrify you."





	in a dream where we'll be alright

**Author's Note:**

> > hey guys uh welcome back to another episode of the author projecting her feelings onto kpop boys haha. 
>> 
>> i hope you enjoy! <3 

He doesn't know what time it is. His entire body seemed to be buzzing with adrenaline, his leather coat clinging to his overheated skin, bodies pressing up against him with foreign hands roaming his skin. The air smelled of sweat, alcohol, and weed. He doesn't know how he ended up here for the fourth time this week. He could feel his phone vibrating in his pocket and the faint voice of Changmin's words from earlier that day.

_"Just fucking leave! I can't do this anymore. Not with you,"_

The music seemed to be turned up louder, drowning out any sober thought he had left. He let someone shove a drink in his hand, downing it and turning to the girl that seemed to be trying to get his attention. He didn't care anymore. He had no reason to. The last thing he remembers was his lips crashing against someone's on the dance floor and everything going black.

✧

The streets were quiet, other than the few cars that drove on the wet street every now and then. He took a long drag of the cigarette in his mouth, stuffing one hand in his pocket to keep it from freezing off. It was way too cold to be wearing a thin jacket and sweats, but he didn't care. He couldn't feel anything.

_"Again, Juyeon? How many times do you have to end up like this for you to realize that you can get yourself killed? Stop pretending like life doesn't terrify you."_

His footsteps echoed in the silence of the night. He was snapped out of his empty thoughts by the light sound of his ringtone. He pulled his phone out, hand stinging a bit at the cold air, heart nearly stopping once he saw the caller ID. He didn't want to answer, but every fiber in his being was telling him to. With shaky fingers, he accepting the call, hesitantly pressing it against his ear. The line was quiet, other than the soft huffs of breath from Changmin's side.

"Juyeon..." His voice was like a stab in the heart. Juyeon let his cigarette fall to the ground as he tried to think of what to say. "Are you okay?"

Juyeon didn't expect that. He expected Changmin to yell at him for going to another party, getting wasted and having to be dragged back home by one of his friends. He didn't expect the softness of Changmin's voice and in a way, it hurt more than the yelling.

"I'm okay," was all Juyeon could say. Was he okay though? He knew that he was losing lots of weight from barely eating, substituting his meals for alcohol. He knew that he had bags under his eyes from staying out until 5 a.m. He knew that smoking was killing his lungs. He knew all of that, but he couldn't come to terms with it. He didn't want to accept what he had become.

"That's good..." Changmin spoke, trailing off. The line became silent again, both not knowing what to say. Why did Changmin call him in the first place? Juyeon swore that Changmin hated him. He had said it himself. He never wanted to see Juyeon again. Maybe if he hadn't come home wasted that night, things would be different. Maybe he would still be in Changmin's arms right now. "We need to talk."

Juyeon felt his breath catch in his throat, mind running over a thousand scenarios in his head. He didn't know how to respond. He didn't want to fuck up again.

"Can you come over? I... I need to see you," Changmin whispered the last line under his breath, but Juyeon caught it, hand tightly gripping the bottom of his jacket. Changmin wanted to see him? After all of the times he messed up, Changmin still wanted to see him?

"O-Okay," Juyeon found himself responding. "I'm on my way,"

The line was quiet for a few more beats before Changmin answered. "The door's unlocked."

✧

Juyeon sat awkwardly on the couch, eyes training on the coffee table in front of him. He couldn't find it in himself to look up. He could hear Changmin shuffling around in the kitchen as he made tea, grabbing the two cups and quietly entering the livingroom. He sat next to Juyeon, a bit more space in between them than usual and Juyeon knew it was all his fault. He set the cups on the coffee table before taking a deep breath.

It seemed as if neither of them wanted to talk first. In his peripheral, Juyeon saw Changmin reach out to him before retracting his hand and Juyeon felt a sharp pain in his heart. He didn't want things to be like this, but he was never good at talking and he had no idea how to make it better.

"Please look at me," Changmin spoke softly and Juyeon used all the strength in his body to look up at Changmin. It hurt to see Changmin like this, with a tight frown on his beautiful features and glossy eyes hiding a thousand emotions behind them. 

"I-I'm sorry," Juyeon choked out and Changmin knew that it was sincere. Juyeon never cried. Ever. So seeing him here, with a single tear rolling down his cheek made Changmin want to shield him from all the dangers in the world. "I'm sorry that I'm like this. I... I don't know why I keep making the same mistakes, knowing that it hurts both of us. I'm so sorry, Changmin,"

The older of the two had to look away to wipe his tears, but Changmin was having none of that. He wasted no time in wrapping his arms around Juyeon, pulling the older into his chest and letting him cry. Letting him let go of everything he's been holding in. All of the pain and inner turmoil he's had to carry around for years. He needed this.

Changmin felt his own heart clench as Juyeon tightly gripping his shirt, as if he'd disappear if he loosened his grip. "I'm here, Juyeon. I'm not going anywhere."

"I'm sorry," Juyeon mumbled through his tears. "I-I don't know where to go anymore. What's the point anymore?"

"Juyeon, you don't know how amazing you are. This is not you. Drinking, smoking, partying. It's not you. I've seen the real you, Yeonnie. You have so much to live for. Don't let this define you," Changmin spoke, wrapping his arms around Juyeon's waist as the older rested his head in the crook of Changmin's neck, tears slowing down. "I love you. I love the real, Juyeon."

And they sat like that until Juyeon's breathing evened out, falling asleep in Changmin's hold. Changmin would always be there for Juyeon.

**Author's Note:**

> > don't we all love some good angst hhh
>> 
>> i literally wrote this in 15 minutes cause he just needed to let some things out, so uh sorry if this is trashy haha
>> 
>> ty for reading <3 


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